ABQ, if you frame it as a battle, I think it will be hard to get them to switch. Schools tend to back up their own staff.
I'd first talk to the teacher; indicate that her words upset your DS, and see what she says in response. If she's apologetic and willing to apologize to your DS, that's one thing. If she's adamant, that's another. This is a form of information-gathering for you, but it also signals that you are problem-solving WITH her first, not going over her head. (This is especially important because if the principal won't move him you are stuck with her for a while.)
I would have a conversation with the principal too (even better: a concern stated in a written, dated note, of which you keep a copy, followed by a conversation). Indicate that you feel her comments were inappropriate and harmful. Ask the principal what he/she can do to make sure it doesn't happen again. If it looks like the principal doesn't want to correct the teacher, THEN ask about the possibility of placing him with a teacher who will accept his presence and support him. Again, you want to look like a collaborative problem-solver. Or they will label you as an overreacting mom.
DeeDee
