We have had good luck with using DD's mental health and self-esteem as the focus of all discussions regarding acceleration/accomodations. She was completely shut down in terms of learning in the classroom, her self-esteem was in the toilet and her anxiety is a problem. Giving that as a focus seems to make everyone more comfortable and somehow her 'giftedness' becomes the side issue and we seem like reasonable, sane parents. In the end, they are bending over backwards to engage her and let her shine in attempts to boister her self-esteem... and this address much-needed acceleration at the same time. And now that they have seen how she can 'shine' they are beginning to see how important it is to not let her fade into the background.
I'm not sure how far this approach will get us in the long run, but it has done a lot for establishing relationships with her teacher and principal. I think this is an important first step.
