Ok, here's my update:
We have been keeping the strict rules for that particular game, and at the same time, a dear friend with a MASSIVE ammount of patience and a 3 yr old took the two of ours plus a five year old and spent two weeks dancing set dances with them. While we were away, he alos had regular "cooking lessons" with another friend who happened to have a dish he REALLY liked, this also required patience and a lot of rule-following.
So, yeah, a li'l bit o' hothousin' goin' on, to say the least.
But the upshot is that he played really, really, really well with some older kids at the library today. It wasn't perfect, to be sure, BUT he got himself taken noticably more seriously than before. He also came home much happier than he frequently does, and napped easily.
So, I think a) that he's actually learning some social skills from attempts to teach them, even if unreasonably early, and b) it's actually making him happier, despite some rough moments here and there (though mild, considering the progress, and what I would have EXPECTED to happen)
So, we'll play it by ear, it's entirely possible we've hit the mark we needed already.
And, yeah, games are good. I really like games, and I'd be sad if he wasn't interested in them, so I'm happy that he is!
-Mich
