Don't forget that your children don't have to go to university in the US, necessarily; there are good universities elsewhere which have different admissions criteria, and may suit your child better. Oxford and Cambridge, for example, are open about being interested in academic enthusiasm and potential rather than in impressive extracurriculars. Both have many overseas students, wonderful courses and fees that will not seem scary to those of you otherwise thinking about the Ivy League. Anecdotally it can be tough for people coming out of the US school system to succeed in UK universities, as specialisation happens earlier in the UK, but many people here have children whom that challenge would suit down to the ground...
Cambridge's overseas student page Oxford's equivalent page
