Thanks for all the quick replies.
He did well with the first graders last year, I suppose. Or, as well as he did with anyone. It's not that he wasn't liked by his peers, and he doesn't have social 'problems' in the way that some kids do. He seemed to find people to play with at recess and so forth. But he didn't really make any friends. The only people he asked to have over to the house were the boys he was close with in preschool. WIth the exception of those boys, he has always been quicker to mesh with kids who are a couple kids older. He's also pretty tall, so he wouldn't stand out in that way. He is, however, a really sensitive kid. He's quick to cry and has lots of anxiety. If it were a straight 2nd grade class, I wouldn't even hesitate. He would still be an outlier academically, but socially I don't think it would be a big deal. At his school, the 2nd/3rd classes do a lot with the 4th/5th. That's who they go to recess with and eat lunch with and go on field trips with etc. I worry that his anxiety level would be through the roof with so many bigger kids. It is also likely that I'm over thinking this and he will be totally fine.
The school did not bring it up. However, I think they will be open to it. It's a charter school, so they can be more flexible. Unfortunately, his teacher last year, although a great fit for his social needs, completely blew off his academic needs. I mean, yes, she gave him the first grade work, which is perhaps more than what some teachers would have done. But, she often said things to us like "Oh, we don't have to worry about him, he's got it." or "Gosh, we should just go ahead and put him in 3rd grade." Sigh. His teachers and the principal are well aware that he needs more differentiation than has been available so far. I also taught at the school for 6 years, and my husband still teaches there, and has been with the school in one capacity or another for 10 years. We have enough of a relationship with the school that they are pretty receptive to what we have to say.
The plan on the table right now is pulling out at least one hour per week for 'enrichment' activities and doing reading and math groups with one of the higher grades. It isn't a bad plan. The structure of the school has the kids doing a lot of independent and small group work. My hope if we put him in the 2nd/3rd, rather than just going up for certain subjects, is that the rest of the independent and small group work would be closer to what he needs. I know as well as anyone that teachers are already stretched thin and asking a K/1 teacher to even try to differentiate up multiple grade levels for just my one kid is a lot to ask. Putting him in the 2/3 would create a situation where his needs could be met with less pressure on the teacher. Or, at least, that's the angle I'm pushing when we meet with the principal.
Also, even though I worry for him socially in the older class, I think that it could be even harder for him to move between two classes. He wouldn't have a chance to get to know the kids he was with for reading and math and would likely be very anxious about it. He doesn't like having attention drawn to him and I think that just putting him in the older class full time would probably draw some attention the first couple weeks of school and then everyone would kind of forget. But, if he's always walking into a class other than is own for reading and math it remains an issue all year.
