Nik, it must be such a struggle for your DD.
We used the book Parenting Your Asperger Child, which advocates "deliberate sabotage"-- you run out of the favorite food item and they have to make do with a substitute, or you walk an unfamiliar route instead of the familiar one. All these little choices add up to more personal flexibility and over time increase coping skills. This may seem off topic to you, but it's a closely related problem.
This approach goes for the more abstract problem of academic work too. Getting used to producing a terrible first draft, making it better within a particular time frame, and then actually turning it in even if it still has problems in it will need practice (and lots of support!).
I wonder if you're feeling that she'll manage college all right. What does she think of her own prospects? Does she know how to find help if she's floundering, or is she likely to not know to ask for help before she just out and out fails? If both you and she evaluate her skills realistically, you'll be better able to make a plan that will help her succeed.
DeeDee
