Sounds like you have my babies!! Oh my goooooodness, what a handful, and really very few people will understand who have not gone through this themselves.
They do grow out of a lot of it. GROCERY shopping is still kind of awful, but at 5 sometimes I can go in and get a few things without too much fuss.

I was very very happy the other day, at the family reunion, however when I expressed to my elderly aunt that I always see these compliant kids in other families who just stay where you tell them, don't touch/destroy everything they see, and so on...and that is just not my kid!! She totally understood! (She has a son who is a dr., and one who is working on his masters in Chinese history in China, etc., so I think SHE had her hands full!!)

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