I was going to suggest 1-2-3 Magic. I found it to be very useful, even though we didn't follow it precisely.
A few thoughts-
It doesn't have to be parenting or overexcitabilities - it could be a combination. (Not that it is BAD parenting, but imperfect parenting - we all do that!) Some things you can't completely control, but some things you can find the right approach to handle better.
2 was really rough on us and we fell back on what we called the trick of the week. We learned that if we could distract our DS, often by making him either mad about something else or getting him to laugh, the tantrum would end. One time, we got 6 months out of putting a sign up in the living room that said "No fits". The kids would start in, we would point at the sign, they would poke out their lips like they were being cheated out of something they had a right to, and the fit was over.
Sometimes there is other stuff going on that we can be too dense to see. My son is 12. Last summer, we discovered that he is allergic to eggs. The reaction is a loss of emotional control. Those 2 year old fits that he never outgrew? They only happened within 24 hours of eating eggs. My husband's allergist nodded when he told her the story. Same thing with her son - only his allergy is corn.
We also found that our preschool son had an issue with sleep. He thought he needed 8 hours, but if he got 10, he didn't throw as many fits (unless he had eggs, as it turns out.) It was a constant battle to get the sleep, but when we won, it was worth it for all of us.
So.... I guess I suggest reading 1-2-3 Magic. If nothing else, it will give you guidance on dealing with the fit. Then I suggest keepiing a diary of sorts - what he eats, how much he sleeps, how the behavior is. See if you can identify any triggers.
And.... an overall healthy diet with plenty of veggies, minimal sugar, and lots of omega fatty acids doesn't hurt!
Good luck
Mary
