Hi there- I don't think you are a bad parent- or you wouldn't be looking to help with this issue! FWIW, I have a very lively, spirited 3yo, and I have been re-reading Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, "Raising Your Spirited Child" and the matching workbook.

I find that the 5 traits of 'spiritedness' for kids match in a lot of ways OEs + giftedness... intense, perceptive, persistence, sensitivity, and energetic- a very useful and affirming read for me with practical advice/ideas to cope:
here is a link: http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Your-Spirited-Child-Perceptive/dp/0060923288
I bought my copies used from Alibris.com for very little $
You may find it useful. I felt a lot less alone after reading this book...