PTP: I totally agree with the importance of treating the underlying anxiety and depression being essential and I even suggested that perhaps over the summer they send her to an outward bound program b/c anxiety is anxiety. Perhaps something of this sort would work on the anxiety and team building.
And the alternative educational route has been tossed around but my friend is not comfortable with it b/c if her daughter can not even get out of bed to go to school she doesn't see how she could get her to commit to distant learning programs and again my friend has to work. It is basically a single mother household at this point.
It is so hard to describe DD and her reaction. She is not flippant with the whole ordeal. She is very apologetic and seems to really want to go to school but if she misses even a day the anxiety of letting everyone down builds up and paralyzes the child until she can't go. She loves her school and wants to go there but she gets into these moments and the moments become long periods of not going.
So the update on the situation: Had a meeting this afternoon with the school and due to how much school she has missed she will not get credit for 9th grade BUT they will not hold her back next year b/c intellectually speaking she has mastered the work so she will have to take extra credits throughout the rest of her high school days to earn the 9th grade. I know I know ... it doesn't make complete sense to me so trying to describe it is useless but for me it seems that they are stuck with the school b/c to leave now she would have to repeat 9th grade anywhere else but at that school she can start in 10th grade next year.
They also got her to agree to go back to the therapist and possibly be put back on medication. The school brought up hospitalizing her but the problem with that is they did that before and after 2 days the hospital is ready to release her because she doesn't meet all their criteria.