My friend asked that I post this for her b/c she is literally at her wits end on what to do with her DD (15 yrs old). DD is profoundly gifted child and has been in the private school system for most of her education. She went to a French Immersion program up to part of middle school and started showing signs of having major anxieties during 7th grade. They took her in to psychologists and they suggested that she be placed in the public sector due to her anxiety. So they moved to what is suppose to be one of the best public districts in NYC area and enrolled her but it completely backfired and in her 8th grade she never went to school but completed her work from home and fell deeper into her anxieties and depression. Of course I know NOW that Gifted consideration in public schools in NY is not really a consideration so this is part of it. So this year she is in 9th grade and they paid to put her in a very tiny private school which is the cost of Harvard. She was doing well in the beginning but started missing school again. She does have some major life altering things going on in her life. Her mother and step-dad separated in January and I am pretty sure that is part of the problem. Her step-dad completely loves her and even though the marriage did not work out he still wants to adopt her and he is the one footing the bill for the private school.

So that is some background .. now the pattern:

She will miss a day or two and that brings on the guilt and before you know it a week has gone by. She lives with her mother who has to go to work and catch a train before DD's bus comes to pick her up in the morning so my friend has to rely on DD getting on the bus.

She has not been in therapy for a while and is fighting that option but after today (another long stint of not going to school) my friend is insisting she go back. The school loves DD and knows her intelligence so they have bent over backwards for her but it really is to the point that they have no option but not pass her to the next grade, which of course is causing major tension in the family (My friend with her DD; Step-dad with his wife and DD) and intensifying the issues even more.

My friend has taken away everything she could think of to get her back into school: Computer, books, phone, TV, blinds in the room, etc.

We know DD really needs structure and with her mom working she isn't getting it.

So my friend would appreciate any suggestions from you. Is there something we are missing that would help? We have also talked about boarding school for next year b/c it has structure and maybe it is what she needs. Back at the end of 7th grade they sent her to a summer program in New Hampshire and it was very structured. She soared in it. But with her not going to school and not having grades ... we don't know if any good boarding school would take her. But just in case ... does anyone have suggestions for boarding schools that might specialize in gifted children?