Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Have you told your child about their test results?

No- but DS is six. I do however, tell him the results of his achievement tests because it's something he has earned (not innate). He's come home and stated that the other kids at school tell him "he's the smartest kid in the class." I continue to reinforce that "the harder he works, the smarter he'll become!"

We don't let the grass grow under our feet- if the school doesn't challenge him, we work on challenging material at home. DS needs to develop patience and good habits, which won't happen if he's breezing through school without effort.

We have not told our kids their IQs, and have no intention of doing so, for a variety of reasons. They are all in the "challenge" program (our district doesn't specifically call it the gifted program, but quite honestly all the kids know that it is), so they know they are gifted. When they were tested, we talked about it being an evaluation to see if they were a good match for the program. My kids are pretty competitive with one another and I'd hate for IQ to be yet another thing they argue about, especially since they are all quite bright. But my oldest is the one that gives the impression of being the brightest, when in fact his IQ is the lowest of the 3. He just happens to be particularly bookish and inquisitive, but it would crush him to think he wasn't as "smart" as his siblings.

Funnily enough, DH and I didn't know our own IQs until our oldest was tested -- that's when our parents told us what our IQs were. We were both in gifted programs, so we had some sense, just not an actual number. But we're more or less a family of "moderately gifted" so once you know you fit the "gifted" criteria, there's not much more to glean from the actual number. Except for my youngest, who could be DYS if we felt the need for those services.

NotSoGifted -- Interesting, we are also in PA and our kids are not included in their GIEP meetings. (But my oldest is only in 6th, so maybe when they are older they will be included, but I don't think that's the case in our district.)

My DD knew the results of her IQ test as she opened the letter, it was addressed to her. We had her tested as she was always told by the teachers at the end of the school year that she was really bright but as she was now moving up there was nothing they could do about it.
She told no-one until one rather annoying "bright" boy was bragging he was so close to joining Mensa, but didn't quite make it, and he was obviously the brightest in the school. My DD turned to him and told him that Mensa was not that great and she had left it, apparently the look on his face was priceless. (she was 16 at this point)
I think we do our kids a mis justice sometimes and they can sort themselves out

We have not told our son what his IQ scores are and never plan to do so. He has seen the word gifted in the material that I read as well as it being mentioned and asked us what it means. We simply told him that it applies to kids who use their smarts and hardwork to achieve great results - and he believes us.

He frequently tells us that he is trying to be "gifted"' by being careful in his work and being hardworking and it is cute to watch

Thanks, mama2three and Melessa

I think the dilemma when deciding to share an IQ score with a child is that they cannot understand the context and what the testing really means. Older children may be able to understand means and SDs, but they cannot understand the nuanced interpretations of subtests on an IQ test. They cannot grasp that a fine motor deficit, for example, could lower the Full Scale score significantly, or how asynchronous development can affect social judgment, and result in a lower subtest score. They cannot understand that motor speed really isn't THAT important compared to spatial skills (even though it carries equal weight as a score), and that their mood, hunger, and rapport with the psychologist on the day of testing can impact their score.

These are reasons I have been reluctant to share scores with my children. They know they are gifted. They know this does not make them any more special than any other child - just that they learn differently. But I don't plan on telling them their IQ scores.

Gail Post/ www.giftedchallenges.com

Gail, do you feel that older children can't understand the nuances re how fine motor skills effect scores etc? How "old" - are you talking about teens or younger? I am just curious, as our ds13 has recently shown an interest in seeing his IQ scores and we did make the decision to share them with him - not because we felt he needed to know his FSIQ etc, but because we felt he is capable of understanding, and also because as he enters his teens it's time for us as parents to move from being his strong on-the-front-lines advocate to being his quiet support from behind the lines so that by the time he's on his own at college he's independently advocating for himself. Knowing what his IQ profile looks like and understanding how his disabilities impact scores is a key to advocating any time those set of scores are used for any types of educational decision. His interest in knowing his scores came out when we read a document that was put together to help children and teens understand LDs as a first step in learning how to become a self-advocate. At his age, for a high-IQ kid (with a challenge), having that talk and looking at discrepancies in scores etc and explaining how different types of disabilities impact the scores was something he really could understand. We've also had many discussions through the years about relative importance (in the grand scheme of things, as well as in daily life) of fine motor skills vs visual-spatial skills (he's challenged in fine-motor and very much a visual-spatial thinker)... but the reality is that even though the fine motor doesn't define him, it is a part of who he is and a part of what he lives with every day.

Anyway, I just mostly wondered if you meant to refer to young children when you said that the children can't understand the nuances of how disabilities are reflected in the scoring.

Best wishes,

polarbear

I was tested during the middle of elementary school. It was a part of some relative's graduate work. My brother and my cousin were tested too. Apparently I was the underdog in the family betting pool on who would have the highest score. It was quite the upset when I beat them by about fifteen points. So I heard my score and the scores for my brother and cousin.

I don't remember telling my friends at school. I think NKOTB and Ninja Turtles were far more interesting to my classmates at the time.

Despite my family's carelessness in handling this situation, we all turned out fine. For those that define "fine" with degrees earned - (Brother, MD, Cousin, MBA and Me, JD) and for those with a more general definition of "fine", we are all happy people in stable relationships working in careers we enjoy.

The message I got out of it was "You are smart enough to do whatever you want. So if you aren't a successful person doing whatever it is you want to do, it is your own fault for not trying hard enough because you have the ability"

I am not promoting what my family did as the way to handle this. I just wanted to share what happened to me.

Last spring (a year post testing) I showed DS7 the bell curve chart his psychologist had prepared to illustrate his WISC index scores. I did so because his school frustrations had left him anxious, demoralized and holding a negative view of his abilities. Going over the significant gap between his PSI and other scores helped him understand his challenges. Explaining the bell curve and pointing out where his other scores sat on it helped him see his potential. Sharing that information had an immediate, positive, effect on him. It wasn't necessary to give him hard numbers, but I may well do that as he matures if I think the specific data will help him in either advocacy or awareness.

We take a hard line with both DCs on being smart not making you all that. Working hard, challenging yourself and using your smarts are what count.

We also routinely reinforce being mindful of the feelings of classmates who may learn more slowly. A review of that with DD5 was necessary recently after she chortled about the ease of classwork to the entire class (which did not appear to share her view). Interestingly, DS7 jumped in and started explaining the bell curve to her, where he sat, that she likely sat there, too, and what that meant for her learning speed. It was awesome!

My older son got a perfect score on the 7th grade reading portion of the Florida high stakes NCLB test FCAT. He constantly (since 6th grade) walks around the house muttering how easy the test is. I constantly repeat to him that he is to keep those opinions to himself because NOT EVERYONE FINDS IT EASY!!!! and it is rude to say that where someone who is just getting by or struggling can hear you say that. We go over and over the fact that many of the students are English Language Learners or their parents were so that there already puts them at a disadvantage and then it just snowballs year after year. Not everyone finds reading easy or enjoyable. Not everyone has had his advantages. Eventually, maybe he will get it.

Polarbear, I would never say it's "wrong" to share the IQ score. Each family has to decide what is best for their child.

My concern is with the actual number, because I think it can be confusing for a lot of children, even teens. Most already know that "giftedness" is typically identified by an IQ of 130 or higher. But whether they have an IQ of 131 or 151, it still may be hard for them to sort out. It's kind of like telling your child your income. Most teens have great difficulty putting salaries and income in perspective, since anything above minimum wage sounds fabulous to them:).

On the other hand, sharing discrepancies in abilities as identified by testing can be very helpful, and validates their own experience. This is especially true for a 2e child. The best aspect of testing is its ability to provide information about differences in abilities. This information is helpful to everyone involved. I know that discussing this information was very helpful for one of my kids who had very discrepant subtest scores.

I am also so impressed with how many parents on this forum work hard to teach their gifted children tolerance and empathy toward other children.

Gail Post/ www.giftedchallenges.com