Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Have you told your child about their test results?

I am just wondering how everyone here has handled the communication of test results with the 'testee'.

For the record, we have not told our DD that she has a high IQ or anything like that. Instead, we have just told her that the time that she spent with the psychologist told us that she can learn anything that she wants to and that she should not set limits for herself.

We have striven to try not to make her big headed or establish an 'attitude of scorn' for school and teachers because we have read about the negative consequences of this.

How have others here dealt with this?

We kept it vague. I showed him roughly where he tested on the bell curve but I didn't mention numbers. In fact, when family members (other than dh) pressed for numbers I refused to give them. I don't even think ds understands what it means to be a Davidson Young Scholar other than it's a cool place where there are kids with similar interests.

My reason for being vague is that I didn't want him to identify with a number--a number that is most likely not fixed, and I didn't want him to get caught up in comparisons. When he's older, of course, I'll share the info.

Hell no! When my son has asked what his IQ testing was all about (at 6 years old), I told him that we were going to see a doctor (Ph.D) who specializes in understanding how children learn. That went into a full discussion of a Ph.D. vs. M.D. and that was pretty much the end of it. He loved the testing and of course never asked for any results or anything.

When we went back for achievement and 2E testing he had some more questions about the testing. I told him that she just needed some more information so that she could give us a better sense of the best way for him to learn. I also added, since he refuses to go to school on a regular basis, that she was going to help us figure out how to make learning more interesting for him - either at school or home.

I HAVE however mentioned to my son that he thinks and learns in a different way than other children. He actually has never heard us use the word 'gifted'. I told him about his learning differences when he was so very frustrated about school and the pace at which they go. After a few days of anger and tears on his part (refusing school, refusing assignments, wondering why the other kids are not angry about the repetitive nature of the work), it dawned on me that it might be very beneficial for him to understand HOW he is different than the other children with regard to learning. I just told him that some children can run really fast in gym class and they don't even have to practice. And some children can learn really fast in math class and don't have to practice. And some children have such a strong desire to learn that if they don't, it's like they can't breathe or eat. That's just the way his brain works. It was very, very helpful to have this discussion, for him. He stopped thinking that something was "wrong" with him.

FWIW - my mother told me my IQ "range" when I was about 9. IMO - not a good move. I spent so much time thinking about what it really meant, how I compared to other children, and (later) how much I was underachieving. She could have told me when I was much older. But I was quite pushy.

DD knows she is gifted because she goes to a gifted school with the word "gifted" in the name. We have never discussed the specifics of her test results. We have talked about how she learns fast, just as some kids sing beautifully, run fast, draw well, etc.

Not with DD6. We do tell her she's smart and clever and she thinks in interesting way and comes up with great ideas but we haven't specifically pointed out she's officially better at those things than most other people.

FWIW, I worried about the label being so blatant--it's a bit cringey-- but I don't notice any negative effects at all from that. If anything, DD is far more humble since coming to this school. She is around other very smart children and sees that she isn't the only one. Before, she'd started becoming a bit annoying about how other kids were soooo sloooooow all the time.

No, and I hate the term "gifted". "High potential" or "High ability" is better but I still won't use terms like that with my kids. Some people are very talented with art, music or sports (and many other things), but they have average IQ's. They are not "gifted"? I didn't tell DS anything at all about his testing, and with DD being in a "gifted cluster", I just told her that she's with kids who are advanced in reading and math and will do more challenging work. I wish schools would just put kids in the right level for their abilities without the "gifted" term. Do we really need a label? It just turns people off even talking about it. I was in "Honors" English in middle school, which basically consisted of kids with high verbal IQs or reading/writing achievement scores, but the name never implied much of anything at all about innate ability.

Some parents bring their (elementary school age) kids to gifted/talented meetings--for instance the school admin discussing the program or testing procedure to parents-- and it makes me cringe.

Blackcat, you make an interesting point. However, I do think people are more comfortable talking about gifted athletes, artists, musicians than whatever it is we choose to call those who are high ability learners (that sounds awkward, yuck). I personally have nothing against the term gifted as used here, other than being tired of all the negative reactions it creates.

To answer the question, we did not share results with DS7. We did tell him that he seemed to have answered all the tester's questions very well and that meant he would be able to participate in some extra activities (like weekend seminars) that would be fun. I rather suspect he will figure a lot of this out on his own, given how quickly he seems to be connecting other facts and theories.

No one puts a special label on gifted athletes, artists, etc. though like they do on people with high IQ's. If such labels did exist, they would probably turn people off in much the same way. It comes across as arrogant or bragging.

I use the term on forums like this where just about everyone is in that category, but will not use it with people not in the category. Or I will use it to describe the programs at school because that is what they are called there and there is no other term.

Agreed.