I thought I'd give everyone an update (however late :-)) on our situation.
Our daughter has started talking at school, which certainly shocked the teachers with what she has had to say. I had a conference with the teacher and she has achieved competency or fluency on all of the tasks on each test up through the 36-42 months test, so they/we can see she is doing well now. However, even with all these developments, she still cries terribly at separation and asks to stay home all the time, so clearly, its time for a change. We had inquired to a few nannies and were working on that when I found out I am expecting again (which is just a miracle knowing what we went through to have our daughter). It was just the push we needed for me to decide to stay home (I had already opened up the discussion to my husband). We started cutting out some things to make our finances work and after just a few more months will have enough saved up that it can work in the short term.
Thanks to everyone for all your advice and support. Grinity, your frank mention of feeling obligated to the other family we share the school tuition with, etc really helped me to refocus and work to convince my husband that a few years of mild financial "hardship" may be what our family needs to sacrifice right now to get our daughter through this time.
I'll keep you all posted! I'm sure I'll have more questions in the future!
