I spoke briefly with the teachers and they said she tends to talk more on the potty, when its just her and an adult.
Could she have been conditioned to not talk there? When she arrived at the school, she was a fluent signer and no one there signed, so as much as she needed anything, it was ignored. Could she have been conditioned to not play? In her first months in the 1 year old room, they did not have many toys and there was no support of playing.
I'm not sure what other options I have right now(longish story but I split a full-time daycare position with another family and feel obligated to make this work), so how could I help her in this environment?
Of course she is being conditioned not to talk. You could also say that her high EQ is allowing her to realize that daycare isn't the place where she can have good conversations. That is why she waits for the potty. The kind of talking the teachers are initiating during the whole group is probably quite shallow and not sustained enough to be interesting to your DD.
Once you become a parent, you have to shift your perspective away from your normal 'pre-baby' perspective. Things like feeling obligated to some other family who is part of the half-time arrangement has to go out the window if your DD's needs aren't being met.
What to do? See if the school will let her spend an hour here and there with the even older group and see if she talks and plays more. Bring in toys that she enjoys from home and see if she is willing to play with them at school. Observe the level of speaking that the other children in her room do and see if it's a match.
18 months is very young, and all of these behaviors might just be normal for her. You won't know unless you try some other settings and see if things change. The crying says that you have to at least try some other rooms or settings. I worked because it was what my family needed most, so I'm guessing that's the case for you as well. It is ok to keep her in the current situation even with the crying, after you've tried some alternates to be sure.
Maybe the other family would split a nanny with you? Who knows, maybe they hate the current situation and are sticking it out for your benifit?
Love and More Love,
Grintiy
