Giftodd, DD has learned coping skills that have helped tremendously. We had to learn deep breathing techniques, like Grinity mentioned. When she first started school, I had to explain to the teachers that she was very sensitive and that if she ever went up to them and told them she had "butterflies in her stomach" they should tell her she was okay, and to take a few deep breaths. This really was only necessary in K, after that, she learned on her own, what she needed to do. Most of the time, there was never anything that would cause her to get scared, worried, etc. at school. I was terrified the first time they practiced a "lock-down" drill that she would freak out, but she didn't. I sort of disagree that the amount of time you "talk your child off the ledge" should be limited. Trying this with our child only escalates it unneccessarily. I think that you know your child best, and no book or person can tell you what works and what doesn't. I can tell you that almost every parenting book that said try X, Y, Z, had to be tweaked for my child. Find what works for you and your child, and go with it. Some kids are VERY verbal, like mine, and they need that talk to help talk themselves into being rational. DD got upset a few times at school, but it resulted in a little eye water, and she learned to handle it. She does great now. She seems to save the worries for home (which is fine with me, as long as she can handle them away from me as well!) Once you realize that this sensitivity is part of who she is and that it isn't going anywhere, the easier it is to work on learning to cope with it, not ignore it. It does get better with time! I know I said these things still happen, and they do, but they are less frequent by far, and we no longer get that butterflies in the tummy, nervous feeling that happened all too often. There is hope, but it will never go away. You just have to learn to work with it. Make sure your child knows there is nothing wrong with her for feeling this way (when she's older). I have to explain to DD that just like she thinks differently than other kids when it comes to school, she feels things differently too, and that's okay.
