I can totally sympathize with the mom of worried girl!
We have found Elaine Aron's research about sensitive people to be of great use with our son. She has a book about sensitive children that talks about both the pros and cons of noticing and feeling so much, and also examines how sensitivity is found in various life forms and has some evolutionary advantages (since the negatives are so obvious and exhausting, it is pleasant to hear about some positives!) Not sure if this is like your situation, Giftodd, but if it sounds helpful, you can check out more at:
http://www.hsperson.com/pages/child.htmHere's what's been most useful to us:
1. Learn more about real risks. Our son is reassured when we clarify the likelihood and severity of risk, so he knows what to really be careful about. (Car accidents are a leading cause of injury and death for little kids, so wearing your seat belt and not distracting the driver of the car are really practical steps for safety. On the other hand, you are very unlikely to choke to death on your applesauce!) Our son likes math so we use probability to clarify the likelihood of dangers.
2. Laugh. We use a great deal of humor whenever possible (we are debating whether it is impossible or just extremely unlikely for a pink elephant to fall on our house).
3. Learn about people who have lived through the worst. Our son has been so relieved to know that even if something "horrible" happens, life goes on. His heroes are Helen Keller (who got sick as a toddler and lost both sight and hearing) and Stephen Hawking (who has a progressive disease that has made him a paraplegic and unable to talk). He loves to learn about their beautiful ideas and thoughts and adventures, and about their adaptions to their disabilities (Braille and finger signing for Helen, computer-speech machine for Stephen). Right now we are enjoying a book about a boy who, when 8 years old, fell on an arrow at camp and it went through his eye and into his brain. He almost died and had all sorts of problems--but he wrote a book about the experience a few years later because he is okay! I know this wouldn't work for every kid, but somehow my son feels inspired and reassured by such stories! What about your neighbor with no nose�would they be willing to talk to your daughter and would your daughter want to talk to them? Maybe they can answer questions (here�s what happened, here�s why I am glad I got help and am still alive, etc.)�sometimes people are really willing to answer kids honest questions.
4. Learn how to deal with danger. My son is very interested in learning how to address dangers. For instance, he has learned how to deal with a burn, choking, how to help grandpa when he cut his leg with a chain saw (grandpa was lucky and just needed stitches!), what to do when the ice you are walking on becomes weak, etc. He feels better when he sees that problems do happen, you work through them, and that he can be helpful and competent.
5. Avoid the scary! No need to introduce extra worries, like from scary movies.
About proof: you can prove how common a danger is; a little research can yield info about dangers for various age groups and populations. This has helped us! For instance, childhood obesity and diabetes are a growing problem; tell that to your kid the next time you say no to a sweet--gotta love it!
I know it can be exhausting to deal with all those worries and fears! Each kid has their own fears and needs to develop their own ways of dealing with them (and each parent takes a different approach). Good luck finding what works for all of you in your families.
