I think you might find more friends like that at the private high school we visited. That�s why I think it would be good for you to go there. He says, I don�t want to go there. The man on the tour said that there was more homework than at other schools. I don�t care if it�s more interesting. I want to go to the regular school. But I still want to write the test for the private school because if I�m accepted, Daddy said I could have a dog.
I am so frustrated. He can do better, but he doesn�t want to make an effort. Or maybe he can�t make the effort? Always lays his head on his left arm when he is writing. He says he likes to write that way. His handwriting seems worse every year.
It might be time to have a little talk about 'average kids' and let him know that average kids do what their parents say without needing explainations or to check their parent's logic. Average kids go to the schools that their parents think are best for them because average kids
know that their parents have more experience and a better chance of making the right choice.
I asked my son what 'obey' meant, pretty recently. He stammered: 'It's when you ask me to do something, and if I think it's the best thing to do, then I do it, right?'
I tried to educate him that it was closer to 'I say do it, and you briefly check to make sure it isn't dramatically bad, and then you do it - right away.'
I would also instituted the 'no lawyering' rule when discussing important issues. The black and white 'going well together' argument deserves a look of confident distrust, and a 'Honey, you have strayed way off the path of this idea exchange. I'm going to go do something else for a while, but let me know when you want to actually share ideas on this topic.' I found this very hard to do, but in the long run, I couldn't 'outtalk' my kid. I had to adopt a calm-assertive pose of 'I can't explain it, but that doesn't make me wrong. I have experience on my side.'
I even have to occasionally say the words he least likes to hear: 'I know you don't understand my logic. That isn't because my reasoning is wrong, it's because you are a child and lack enough experience to understand this particular situation. My hope is that when you are grown up, you will look back and understand. I'm sorry you don't like it, but that is just the way it is.'
Best Wishes Verona,
Grinity
