My daughter occasionally gets "lost" in the bathroom or while dressing/making her bed/any other chore she isn't particularly interested in. And I have to nag, and then we both get irritable.
Finally I explained the obvious: these things must get done. That is not negotiable. They must get done in this particular way. Also not negotiable.
However, they can get done with nagging and yelling and unpleasantness, or they can get done without all that.
And we walked through the order and timeliness a couple of times, after which she said that she had it down, and could manage. And mostly she has, because the lack of nagging and unpleasantness is a huge reward, in her eyes-- way better than stickers or M&Ms.
And when I praise her she gets really squicky, because she hates any sort of spotlight. (When we were going through the Great Potty Training Ordeal of 2002, she would refuse to go unless I promised not to praise her!) So weirdly, the negative reinforcement really is better, in her case, though I realize mileage varies widely.
Last edited by eldertree; 01/05/11 09:04 AM.
