I have struggled with perfectionism all my life and also see it in my daughter, a young nine year old 5th grader. After skipping third grade and homeschooling for fourth, she is in a very rigorous prep school and doing great. She is challenged for the first time ever in school. I have seen both sides of her perfectionism: being bored and will not try and now, striving to be absolutely perfect at everything. She brought home a unit exam, 110 questions on the history of the conquest of the Inca and Mayan Indians by Spanish explorers. She missed 2 questions, had an A+ and the highest grade by 15 points, but can only focus on what she missed!
I agree that modeling our own mistakes is a great stratagey. I also find that celebrating hard work for its own reward is very important, not focusing soley on the outcome. I never ask about test grades anymore, I try to ask something like "was you preparation adequate, or do we need to find another approach". I see the grades when she brings them home on Friday. This seems to have helped a bit lately, at least!
My perfectionism is different, but the roots are the same!
I second the recommendation about the Young Scholars program. It has changed our lives!
Susan in Reno
