Our DS's teacher told us he had ADHD and said we were ruining his life by refusing to medicate him- I totally understand your frustration! (We later confirmed with our ped and our psych that he does not have ADHD, he's "just" HG+) We changed schools and found a better fit. But it still wasn't enough. He's now 2 weeks into a grade skip and a completely different child. Homework is fast, he's attentive and focused at school. We've found that level where it's just enough without being too much. At least for now!
The one major difference I've noticed as a teacher is that gifted kids who do not have ADHD appear to not be paying attention. However, they likely can tell you what you said, what it was about and answer the question, all while reading a book, fidgeting and humming. A true-ADHD child (gifted or not) will likely not be able to tell the teacher what she was talking about or answer the question. They often look the same to an observer and takes a little more effort to find out if the child is really distractable and overactive or if it really requires so little brain power that he/she can do other things too.
