i have the same problem, my DS7 and DD5 seem to want nothing to do with any routine or structure. I've started to try to reign it in my starting very small,making it very simple, and using any cues possible other than verbally reminding them over and over, which i feel just annoys and frustrates everyone. I am actually a bit relieved to read your post and we're not alone. this gives me such concern. I feel my kids are just so untamed and willful, but when i try to demand structure i feel like i become a tyrant. We're trying out "caught being good" tokens - when they have 5 they get a reward- but not sure how its working yet.
