Hey Tracy,
I sort of liken all of these comments to my thoughts when my kids were babies. Let me explain. I am big supporter of attachment parenting. Nursing, sleeping near baby, not letting them cry etc...It is what worked for me and I'm not saying it should work for everyone(just needed to add that caveat). When my pediatrician started instructing me on how to get my baby to go to sleep without holding her I shut him down. That's parenting advice and I'm here for medical advice. Same goes for teachers and school officials, in most cases. Surely there will be exceptions. I send my child to school to learn and socialize not to solicit advice on my parenting skills. I am happy to entertain their suggestions but it must work both ways because maybe just maybe if you let my kid be the kid they want to be and teach to their level and skill set the other issues will disappear. It's a dream I know.
To respond to others on the board as well. I hear you!! One teacher said that maybe she is not doing her work at school because she views it as a time to relax - meaning I force her to do so much at home and should just let her be a kid. My dd spends the bulk of her time playing with plastic figures, swinging on swings, doing ballet, and digging up bugs in the mud. She also happens to love reading ficition and about reptiles and wants to be a chemist.
Why can't they just accept her for who she is. A thoughtful shy child who struggles to keep track of her possessions...
