We were called in today (after some particularly bad behavior) and had decided it was time to really advocate for him - last year, we tried to trust the "experts." We were dumbfounded to hear their assessment of him - it was all about behavior, none about ability - and they basically gave him 4 weeks or they'll kick him out. AND, they gave us the name of an "parenting psychologist" that we are essentially required to contact because it is obvious to them that he is "crying out to us to set limits for him." When we asked them to PLEASE try more challenging work, we basically were told that they will "follow the normal course of work for a 4 year old" and that "lessons are planned out far in advance."
Let's talk about money - if they are willing to walk away from your tution check, then I highly reccomend walking away from the school. My son acted out. It is bad to keep a child in an enviroment where he is seen as "the problem."
Also, just because a school says that they are "Montessori" doesn't mean that they follow the principles of Montessory style learning.
I believe that you have a local school system with a HG program, yes? If you can pull him to homeschool for the rest of the year, I would highly reccomended it.
Are you a bad parent? Well, how would I know? But I do know that judging your parenting based on their perceptions of how a normal 4 year old should behave is wrong. If you are actually worried about your parenting, I would suggest you read Sylvia Rimm. I am tempted to suggest that you contact a lawyer. The last thing you want is for the school's concerns about your parenting to lead to the Department of Child Services. In my opinion - they are way outside the line!
It is too bad that if you wanted to do family therapy, you would probably have difficulty finding a local 'parenting psychologist' who wouldn't pathologize normal highly gifted behavior. But perhaps your tester could reccomend someone?
As for sending him the wrong message. Well - what kind of messages is he getting now? What would you want him to do for your pretend future Grandchildren? Is it ok to say - We really aren't sure what to do - but more of this just seems to not be working?
And - amazingly - sometimes you can just ask your son what he thinks of the whole situation - what would he do in your shoes - and - sometimes - they come up with amazing insights!
Best Wishes,
Trinity
