Hi Jenafur:
Some quick advice about dealing with your husband's giftedness denial. Since he isn't receptive to the idea your child is "gifted," just don't use the word and don't focus on categorizing (at least with him, yet). Rather, when you explain that you want to do some particular thing (homeschool, pursue early entrance to school, skip HeadStart) explain that you want to take these actions because of your son's particular readiness level, needs, interests, etc. For example, "I spoke to the kindergarten about the typical day, and learned they spend 30 minutes in circle time each morning going over the letters of the alphabet and their sounds. The whole daily schedule is full of activities designed to teach skills and information he already has. I'm concerned he will be bored, become accustomed to never having a challenge, or come to hate school. Let's see if there are any other options for him."
You're talking to your husband about modifying the curriculum, based on the gifted characteristics your child is showing, but you aren't using the word gifted. I've actually found this to be a good way of talking to teachers about my child, since so many are dubious and seem to recoil at a parent's use of the word!
What I've told teachers: My child is a really fast learner. He gets frustrated when classes spend too long going over the same information. He comes home really excited any day he learns something new. He comes home depressed on days when he hasn't learned anything new. My child has an amazing memory and thirst for knowledge, so he wants to learn a lot of detail about any subject you are covering. For example, he thought ____book about chemistry was really boring because it had so few facts. He really liked ____ book about chemistry because it provided more facts and interesting things to think about. He has gotten so frustrated about not getting called on that he doesn't bother to try to raise his hand and answer questions any more.
So, you've talked about his needs without using the dreaded "g" word that seems so off-putting to a number of teachers.
Sorry this is such a rambling answer. It's 10:40 at night here and I should go to bed for my early waking.
Write back and let us know how everything progresses
BK
