I'm not sure why DH is so opposed to HSing. Part of it is that Pud's behavior has been bad and it stresses me out so much. He's tired of coming home and finding one of us screaming at the other (I know, I shouldn't scream). I'll have to talk to him about it again. If I could find a good school fit, I'd prefer that to HS, to be honest, because I need my time. I think, though, that it's probably the only way to go for a while. I just haven't figured out how to make it work.
I don't know what would convince him. It might just take me doing it and seeing how it works. I need to have my ducks in a row, though, before I just yank Pud out of school.
Well, many people recommend "deschooling" when a child is removed from a bad school situation for homeschooling. The idea is to let them get over it for a while without pressure to learn. That might be your best bet in this case if you do decide to homeschool. It would give him time to recover and it would give you time to prepare. Your DH might hate it, but I think it might be the right move. Just be sure to limit TV and videogames. You want Pud to get bored with doing nothing and become eager to learn again.
The really helpful question I asked myself when we removed DS7 from school last year for "emergency homeschooling" was this: am I doing worse than the school was doing? As long as the answer was no, then I figured it was working okay. Setting the bar low like that gave me room to make the inevitable mistakes and not feel like a failure for my child. He was still better off than he had been in that lousy school situation, and we could adapt easily when something wasn't working. I feel a lot more confident this year than I did last year. It gets easier as you gain experience.
Just know that you don't have to have all the answers right away. You don't have to provide the perfect education for your child from Day 1. It will be a learning experience for you, too, and you will adapt. The real question is "Can I do better than the school is doing with him?" If the answer is yes, then you're moving in the right direction.
And BTW, DS7 and I get along MUCH better than we did when he was in a bad-fit classroom. He's happier, and that makes him a lot easier to get along with.
That's not to say that I never yell at him, of course. But he's not unhappy anymore, so he's a lot easier to work with. He thinks of us as a team now--as do I--and we necessarily get along better as a result. Many homeschoolers find this to be true.
And finally, as for needing your time, I SOOOOO identify! I'm an introvert who gets really unpleasant without time alone. Getting a sitter to help out so you can get some time away is really helpful, especially that first year of HSing. You do need time to yourself, and you could spend some of that money you're saving on the expensive school for babysitting, and still come out ahead financially. It was what got me through it last year. This year, I'm doing fine without a sitter because the kids are older and more used to the system, so they give me a little more space than they used to.
College students or older homeschoolers are a good choice for sitters. They're free during the day, have flexible schedules, and don't charge too much.
It sounds like you and Pud are both stressed out. Something needs to change. If you can find a better school fit, then great! A good school fit is a wonderful thing. But if you think HSing is the answer for now, then you can make it work. And you do NOT have to lose your mind in the process. Honest!
