I feel you. MY DS8 has always been a wretched sleeper. For almost a year I thought we had it mostly solved, but here we are, and suddenly he "can't" fall asleep on his own again. So he'd been falling asleep in my bed, coming there in the middle of the night, or falling asleep on the couch. For the moment I've just given up and am letting him fall asleep on the couch, because the more he stresses out about not being asleep in his bed, the worse he sleeps--a cyclical problem.
Just as an idea, what if you let her read (a paper book, not on a device) in bed at 8pm for a bit? Laying down to read with just a small light on often helps me settle, and is less torturous than just lying awake thinking about how you're still awake. Maybe she'd fall asleep sooner if she got her mind off it.
