has this pride and still won't do it.
Reading this brought a lump to my throat. Is it possible to help change his thinking... for example:
- If he paid cash for a burger and was not given his change, would he ask for the change?
This simple self-advocacy invokes known and agreed-upon rules.- If he had an ad for a sale price on some technology (or a coupon which adjusted the price), but was charged the full price, would he ask for the sale/coupon price?
This self-advocacy points to a previous written offer/agreement. - If he received one of his school papers back with the grade marked as 97/100 points... but saw the grade recorded in the online grade book as 79/100 points (transposed digits), would he show his documentation (the grade hand-written on his paper) and inquire as to having the online grade changed to match what was previously put in writing?
This self-advocacy points to previous documentation. Asking for extra time on the test similarly
points to a previous written agreement. If he feels sensitive or uncomfortable with self-advocacy, might standing up for another person be more within his comfort range?
The idea would be to find some act of advocacy within his comfort zone, and expand on that, with your support, coaching, and guidance, until self-advocacy comes more easily and automatically... and feels matter-of-fact, not emotional.
Throughout life, there are many circumstances in which a person may need to politely, collaboratively remind others of facts, documentation, policies/procedures/protocols, previous agreements, even laws. This may be thought of in a very positive manner as maturity and "finding one's voice", a necessary part of teamwork, truth-seeking, trust-building, and ethics... taking responsibility for one's self and one's role in life rather than feeling victimized (which may greatly increase anxiety).
Wishing you all the best with encouraging the development of self-advocacy. A series of small "wins" may help build confidence, in someone who may be somewhat inhibited or reticent.
