JBD, you've expressed this so well.
IMO, there is great value to a child in making choices, as this is an integral part of "owning" their education and their lives... having internal locus of control.
I'm a big believer in "talking about our day" whether over dinner, while riding in the car, having an after-school snack or any other time.
An easy starting point with young children is "Let's talk about our day!"
I'd probably ask DD how she liked having mom as the volunteer helper... see if she has any tips or comparisons with what other parents do when they are the helper... see how she
felt about having you there on this day (or in general). Thank her for any input, showing you value her perspective. I'd mention that you were proud of her, as she seemed happy with her choices, her friends/classmates, her project, etc. I'd probably ask what she
thought about the station and activity she chose, and how she
felt about them as well. I'd get around to asking about other stations... whether she's ever tried them, which ones she's tried, what she thought about them, how she felt about them. Depending upon her answers, I'd consider inquiring whether the same kids tend to go to the same stations routinely, and/or whether a group of kids tend to go together to a station... and who seems to decide. Between each question I'd express a lot of affirmation and validation for her, her observations, viewpoints, and choices. If she seems interested and it might help keep the conversation balanced (so she does not feel grilled) possibly share a little bit about how kindergarten has changed since you were that age as well as what you
thought and how you
felt about different opportunities you had in kindergarten.
IMO, building a rapport with your child and understanding that they are independent thinkers... learning how they think and finding out what is going into a child's decision-making throughout the years is very, very important. This can be your early-warning system for any troubles on the horizon (whether academic, social, motivational, etc).
During these conversations, you might find that your child would enjoy writing a book at home (but not in front of others)... or that your child would like play dough at home and then would prefer to write a book in school... or that your child tends to move with one or more particular children (or avoid one or more particular children), or peacefully/passively let everyone else choose first and then go to the station which has space. My point is, there are endless possibilities and it may be highly insightful to learn from her perspective how she is making her decisions in school, and who she is choosing to be in that environment.
Take your time, move slowly to ensure you are always
supporting your child's pace and not
pushing. Keep solidly in touch with your child, and be prepared to be amazed with both the intellectual growth spurts and the plateauing.
Just my 2 cents.
