Thank you for your comment Portia.

That sounds like great advice.

What kind of techniques did your counselor use - if I may ask?

Yes, it is more difficult when they're older and just flat out say no. His comment is why would I talk to a stranger about my problems.

Also, when he's feeling anxious/threatened he becomes defiant. He's usually a fairly sunny cooperative person. Natural I suppose. If I felt threatened or forced to do something that made me feel unsafe I would be defiant too.

So, allowing him to pull back and focus on learning instead of also having to deal with all the other things that freak him out might be a good first step.

Has anyone else been through this?