Ideally those questions aren't part of gifted "culture," either. Really the only question that should be asked (particularly in lower grades) is, "Is my child engaged at school and being challenged in a way that's appropriate for them?" Being labeled as gifted is simply a recognition that the normal standard for teaching is not going to cut it. It doesn't require direct comparisons between children.
I am not quite sure what you mean by "gifted culture", but I certainly agree that it would be best if all children were appropriately challenged without being compared or labeled. Unfortunately, that seems to be standard in most traditional public school settings where an entire class of students is being taught the same things at the same time. In that situation, parents are required to prove that their child can work at a faster pace than the rest of the class before they are allowed any sort of differentiation.
