My answer to the original question is, "when you've tried everything you can think of, the school/district has demonstrated that it isn't going to do anything significantly different, and/or the harm to my child reaches the point where no further patience is warranted."
We reached that final breaking point with my DD's school system three separate times, and resorted to schooling at home. Each time she has returned to school with a different set of expectations... once because she was now old enough for their full GT pull-out program, again because we'd effected the grade skip they pointedly refused to consider. She's now homeschooling again, and we're considering re-enrolling her in public school when she's ready for middle school.
Then again, we may not.
I think one of the things that is bothering me is comparing the options in our district to the options in the district down the street and seeing how much more they offer.
That might be an opening. Do the schools in the other district perform better on state testing? Some hints about how your district could learn from theirs might be motivating to administrators who are focused on state test results.
But I caution you about moving to a new school district, because all is not always as it appears. We pulled my DD from public school twice from a district that offered daily GT pull-outs in math and language arts. It looked good on the surface, but her experience left a lot to be desired.
