I'm still on the fence about calling an IEP meeting.
I doubt you'll have enough time in a conference to address IEP issues and strategize with the teacher(s).
Is there a specific reason for your reluctance to ask for an IEP meeting? (You don't have to answer that--just mean it as a clarifying question.) From what you've described, your DS is in distress and there are enough concerns (about both DS' anxiety and IEP issues) to warrant meeting.
I'd want to do this sooner, rather than later, before things escalate any further. I watched my DS circle the drain last year (with little gleams of hope here and there--"good day/weeks"). Looking back, wish I'd been a lot more proactive.
