Yes, 2e kids are one of the most underidentified portions of both populations of exceptionality (gifted and disability). Consequently, GT programs both underselect for 2e kids, and misattribute disability-related presentations to motivational causes.
I wonder if this is even more true with kids who are easily identified as gifted (because strong academic skills) but have more subtle/tricky challenges (social communication, for instance). My current working hypothesis is that my son is difficult to spot because he's *not* math/science oriented (so doesn't present as stereotypically "geeky"), has mainstream interests (sports), and is extroverted/gregarious in social situations (not so much at home). He does not read as "anxious" but is quite anxious, and is overstimulated very easily in social settings.
I think programs like this are setting kids up for anxiety issues, giving up, etc. DD was in a program like this. The teachers claimed that it's not a problem to be "2e" (I asked ahead of time), but then they did very little to follow the 504, give her the structure she needed, etc. They gave 4th graders middle school work, but also expected them to have the EF ability of a middle schooler. Maybe many do, but many don't, esp. the 2e kids. It was the same sort of selection system--basically cognitive testing (and they add in reading/math achievement test results). I do think 2e kids should have access to gifted programs, but unfortuantely most programs do not seem to recognize the need to make modifications for these kids, and then the kids either flounder or get stuck in classrooms learning material they already know.(In our case we took DD out and put her in a school with "regular" kids but they cluster by ability, mixing up ages, so it ends up being a much better fit).
Agree, especially about anxiety. I also think it's interesting that anxious children do not always seem anxious, in the way we imagine as adults. I'd prefer DS was in a school like you describe--but at this point it would be such a logistical nightmare, not sure how it would work. I think your DD is younger...this secondary school thing is so complicated. We chose the wrong program, but I had "drunk the Kool-Aid" and thought it would be perfect and appropriate for my DS.
