Hi. I'm trying to figure out if my son is twice-exceptional, and if so, what should I do for him (or what has others done for their child)? I already know this will be a long post mainly because I am so uncertain. I hope someone can point me in the right direction. I'm okay if I'm told he isn't gifted. I prefer honesty, and I know that even if a child isn't gifted they can still excel in the right environments. I just want some opinions to help me understand him more and make the right decisions for him-- to create that right environment.
He doesn't seem to have the same characteristics as other children who are twice-exceptional. His scores in many areas are no where near as high or high in as many areas, there are huge spreads in his scores, and he doesn't seem to get frustrated from being unchallenged... yet, his learning seems to be accelerating. He says interesting and unusual things like "I've been thinking about how the world works a lot. Plants make oxygen and we breathe it in. I'm trying to figure out if there's a more efficient way to get oxygen. Plants can die, and where will we be then?" or "I can't sleep at nights because I'm always thinking about why we are here, what is the purpose of this, or how does this work?" We had no idea that he was always thinking this way until he was able to communicate more. Yes, he does have trouble falling asleep. He is very restless at night.
My son is 7 years old now. He has apraxia with significant impact on speech. From an early age, it was clear he was "different", and some of his behaviors mimicked other disorders such as autism (running off, meltdowns, delayed speech, little eye contact). In addition, he has atypical developments and what I call "mental growth spurts." He would appear to mature overnight or suddenly become very capable in an area where he struggled before. In addition, his autism-like behaviors would disappear over night but each at different points in time. He has some heightened anxiety, sensory issues, and regulatory issues (emotions and sleep). He is an unassuming child, very cheerful, and pleasant. He has deep emotions and feelings-- he must be one of the most empathetic kid ever! There is something very child-like about him (I know he is still young, but it's more so than his peer group), but at the same time, he handles the rigors of general classroom just fine. In fact, although he has tested low in verbal IQ, he is now in the highest reading group and receives differentiated math for classwork and homework for 1st grade. He is always helping his peers. The teacher has commented how he gravitates to those struggling and will help them. He didn't always excel in the classroom.
He has seen many specialists because there were many concerns. We (to include the kindergarten teacher) weren't even sure if he could keep up with his peers in kindergarten. He would forget routines, couldn't remember names of classmates or even the teacher's name, get lost or separated from his group... It wasn't because of a transition to school because he attended a preschool program in the same school and under the same standards the year before. Essentially, it was a repeat of kindergarten standards. He lacked strong vocabulary and didn't know the meaning to many words that most kids knew. I always tried to read to him when he was younger, but he hated it until he turned 4 1/2 years old (one of those weird overnight changes). By the end of the year, he made marked improvements. The teacher said she never had a child who tried new ways of using what he learned to the extent that he does. If he learned a new concept in class, he was testing it in different and unique ways.
The specialists wouldn't and didn't want to come up with any more labels for him. They believe and hope that his strengths will pull him through and eventually pull him ahead. They said because of his atypical developments and unusual "growth spurts", he is most likely developing well, but in his own way. They did want him to receive behavioral support/therapy to help with anxiety and social situations, and he was placed on a waiting list. However, he made one of those overnight changes and no longer needs it.
The psychologist and neuropsychologist indicated that attention should be paid to certain subtest scores because of huge differences. Otherwise, the overall scores will mask areas of strengths and weaknesses. His test scores when he was 5 and 6 years old are:
TONI-4 score=123, superior
WPPSI-IV full scale= 111 (77%)
Verbal Comprehension 99 (47%)
Information 7 (16%)
Similarities 12 (84%)
Receptive Vocabulary 9 (37%)
Picture Naming 11 (63%)
Visual Spatial 94 (34%)
Fluid Reasoning 136 (99%)
Working Memory 113 (81%)
Picture Memory 9 (37%)
Picture Concepts 15 (95%)
Processing Speed 109 (73%)
Bug Search 14 (91%)
Cancellation 9 (37%)
Woodcock-Johnson III
Basic Reading Skills 99 (average)
Brief Math 115 (high average)-- tester noted he hadn't learned math symbols, yet and this area couldn't be fully tested--
Math Reasoning 125 (superior)
Brief Writing 96 (average)
Applied Problems 132 (very superior)
He doesn't show signs of perfectionism. He seems to know his strengths and weaknesses, and he is very okay with it. For instance, he has commented that he cannot draw well (true!! though I would never tell him this), but that he still likes drawing. He will state something like, "If you can't do it well, it doesn't mean you can't enjoy it or get better at it." It's just matter of fact with him. He's emotional, yet logical. Like I said before, he is starting to express himself more, and I'm discovering that I never really knew him as well as I thought. He hasn't always been able to share "what" and "how" he thinks.
Are these signs of being twice-exceptional? I know math is a relative strength for him and so is problem solving. He is different from his siblings and peers. Everyone is amazed at how "sweet" he is because it differentiates him from other kids, especially boys. I know all kids can be sweet and kind, but I don't know how to describe it. There's an innocence about him, and yet, he seems to be thinking about larger concepts... even dark ones. For instance, we were talking and I said one day he may be a daddy. He became upset because if he had kids, that meant I would be a grandma, which meant I would be old and eventually die. He worries about me, doesn't want me to suffer, and will miss me when I am gone (which I also understand is an example of anxiety). Most people wouldn't notice his intellectual and emotional depths unless they work with him regularly (a teacher) or gave him a test. He seems to be a paradox.
Any comments, advice, insights, anything would be helpful. I feel lost. I just don't know if I'm doing enough or not enough for him. I don't even know if he is considered gifted. To be honest, I was relieved when he kept up with his peers.
If you got this far, thanks! I think kids are complicated beings, and most times, a test score can't give you the complete picture of the child.
