Thank you all so much for your support and hugs. It really does help. I had a good cry last night while writing my post, and another one while reading all of your responses. Thanks for understanding.
DS has been challenging since he was a baby, and there have definitely been a few easier periods, but often it is very challenging. Right now is a very challenging time for DS as not only is he starting at a new school, but he was accelerated a grade. So he is trying to make new friends at the same time as coming to terms with some academic challenge. He struggles with his handwriting, so he is starting to work with the OT at the new school, and this is a source of frustration for him too. His emotional regulation and executive functioning are below age level, and now he is up with older kids. I think the grade skip was the right decision, but it does require a lot of support and understanding.
I went to bed with the resolve to control the one thing I can best control, my own attitude and emotional regulation. I am going to keep reminding myself what he is going through, and be firm but empathetic, and do a better job of staying calm myself. He was already up when I got up this morning and we had a really nice time together before I took him to school.
DeeDee, you asked some great questions. DS had another assessment done at 4.5 and 5.5 by two different educational psychologists, both of whom said they do not think DS is on the spectrum. I still see some characteristics, but then between possible ASD, ADHD, giftedness, SPD, and who knows what else, it is hard to figure out exactly what is going on! Currently he has no diagnosis other than being highly gifted.
The school he went to last year would not allow us to send in a shadow. I got the impression they thought we were pathologising DS, and that we were exaggerating both his areas of ability and areas of weakness. We continued with a social skills/emotional regulation session with one other child and a psychologist once a week. We stopped that halfway through the year when the psychologist moved away.
We sent a letter to his new school before the year started to let them know he was struggling with handwriting, and his teacher organised a meeting at the end of the first week, which was fantastic. This is his second full week, and there has been some behaviour problems. I spoke with the Edu. Psych who did his report last year, and she recommended we get the school counsellor or psych involved and have a behaviour plan written up. So I have communicated that desire to the school today, and hopefully that will get going soon. I think they have an educational psych on site a few days a week. I feel it is very important to address behaviour straight away.
The positive pre-bed talk sounds like a fantastic idea. I am going to try it tonight.
