I find focusing on something positive at the end of the day can help, even if it's as small as "he put his dishes on the counter when I asked." Telling him these things ("I really liked how you XYZed today") right before bedtime is good, so he could at least go to bed with a positive message from the day. I also try not to take things personally when DS is being super negative/explosive; this is *really* hard for me, and I'm far from good at emotionally removing myself.
I second this advice. When we get in a down period with DD, I notice that I'm providing way too much negative feedback (even if I do it "well"). Frankly, it's because there is a great deal of negative behavior. However, she desperately needs positive acknowledgement, even if I am faking enthusiasm/gritting my teeth through it because I'm so frustrated overall.
