[/quote]
HK,
I hope that you have made it clear to her that you needed to walk away from your career path because of you, not because of her. If she were my daughter, I'd want her to know that many parents are capable of having a career even with a seriously disabled child. However, under the circumstances, you felt like you couldn't do it. It has more to do with you than with her needs, so she shouldn't feel guilty at all. Does that make sense? [/quote]
I have to healthy kids so I can't comment on that - and I won't.
I have to say though that the thinking that you can have it all - especially towards women is one of the worst forms of pressure we place on kids. Children these days expect to grow up being good at EVERYTHING. They need to be good at sport, art, academics, socialising, parenting, wealth creation etc. We keep telling them they can do this - and when it turns out they can't without extreme internal pressure they start to feel they are inadequate.
I think it's time we start telling kids that they can be good at one thing or many things, maybe not the best but with effort they can achieve mastery over the things they are passionate about. I think this type of pressure does contribute to the attitudes focused on in the article.
FWIW I gave up my career to parent my kids until they start school - then I'll be going into a diff field that allows me many more options to work around them. Yes I have been fortunate to financially achieve this (although we planned for many years to make it possible. There was no way I could do my work to 100% and parent the way I wanted at the same time. I can do it all, and do it well - just not at the same time.
