I think it has helped me to view others' illogical behavior as functional. That is, it may not make sense to me in my life, and it may not actually meet their own long-term goals for their lives, but it is -functional- in some way, in the short-term.
For example, when a child in need of mental health support yells at, insults, or otherwise sabotages attempts to provide them with counseling (peer or professional) support, it seems irrational from the outside (don't they want help?), but it might be behavior that is functional for them, because 1) in their family system, this behavior protects them from betrayal of trust (broken promises of support or intimacy); 2) acknowledging the need for support would mean betraying their own family system by admitting that it is flawed, and the need to maintain the illusion of a functional family system is higher than the need to resolve their own state of social-emotional conflict; or 3) they fear confronting their own internal social-emotional concerns, and are protecting themselves from having these exposed in an insight-oriented relationship. (Among other possibilities.)
Taking the position that there is some kind of logic behind other people's behavior (even if it isn't linear logic, or based on the same hierarchy of values as mine) makes it easier for me to work compassionately with a range of individuals. At the least, it becomes a kind of puzzle--figuring out what the basis of their behavior and decision-making is.
