One strategy here would be to play dumb:
"Wow, I must be having one of those days, because the first time I read your response, I thought you were asking a 9yo child to plan her own education, LOL. Can you please clarify? I would be happy to brainstorm with you, if that's what you mean, since I have valuable insights into DD's interests and personality. Really, anything that allows her to learn something more than how to fill pages with drawings would be a huge improvement, thanks."
All communicated via email, of course, so that there's always a record of what was said, which can go up the chain of command if necessary.
