I think there are different ways to go with this, none of them wrong.
--You could look for a school of a different flavor. Even the most awesome school is not awesome if it does not fit the actual kid you have. You would have to start over negotiating about curriculum, etc., but you are experienced at that.
--You could just accept that the skill of complying with instruction is something she's building, and it isn't that much fun, but that in the long term, she'll be happier for knowing it. We have gone this route for phases of our history, always making sure there's enough joy in other parts of the day to make it livable as an overall thing. We are not sorry we built this skill.
No situation is perfect, and I do not think parents are obligated to render a schooling situation even close to perfect. Sometimes you have to decide what's "good enough." And I am just making sure you know that you are an excellent parent and your DD will turn out fine whether or not you choose to change up the situation.
