I think that there is a lot of disagreement about what is ASD and what is not. In my son's case, his preschool teacher raised red flags but the psychologist said his quirks were related to being gifted but immature. He was recently reassessed at age 8 by a neuropsych who is affiliated with the local autism center and she said he was on the spectrum. He has always had friends, he can do imaginative play, he makes eye contact, he tells jokes, etc., but he also has had obsessions with various topics for months (although in a deep way), has sensory issues, he lined up toys as a toddler, he hand flaps when anxious, and is quirky in other ways. If I had to do it again, I probably would have pursued social skills therapy after the first assessment regardless of the lack of diagnosis. If your gut feeling is that he has some issues, I'd try to address the problems sooner than later. We chose to wait and see which probably made things more difficult for all of us in the long run. I don't think that it would have hurt him to have entered a program earlier to learn how to self-regulate emotions better, to work on teamwork skills, etc., even without an ASD diagnosis.
