MIexpert - sounds similar to my ds8. I don't have any answers for you or a magic pill. I know how extremely annoying it is too.
Part of it is the fact these kids are still young. Part of them wants to be independent and perhaps do the work, but part of them doesn't. So everything is either sooooo easy or sooooo hard but it seems to be a control/anxiety issue for these kids, or at least that's how I see it.
I think some of it relates to separation anxiety. If they do the work on their own, then they don't need you. BUT if they claim otherwise, then they're still dependent and therefore not responsible or accountable to anything. That's my two cents.
I just had a similar situation with ds8 yesterday and this am, so I'm dealing with similar issues.
