Bronalex - You did well in the meeting. I tend to hate those too and do all the talking while DH sits until the end and might say something.

Social/emotional skills. I can say that within the last couple of weeks, I've been trying to directly address them and ds8 has been turning a corner. Remember, I've got the ds8 who had severe SPD, visual processing deficits, and other 'fun' stuff.

I do believe some of the lag or delays with social/emotional are time, maturity, and brain maturation issues. Saying that, it doesn't hurt to prompt these kids. Also focus on the positive and give positive reinforcement. Try to dismiss or make it light if ds doesn't do something (usually annoying or forgetful like not flush the toilet). Once ds does something that's more 'big' boy, point it out and say something like - oh, I noticed you did X, that's 'big' boy stuff. How does that make you feel? Oh, I notice that you didn't have a meltdown like you normally do over Y, that's 'big' boy stuff. I know it must have been frustrating, annoying, or whatever - but you held it together.

I've been addressing the anxiety, inattention, sensory, etc. - by asking tons of questions to ds. I ask if X makes me glad, mad, sad - or it makes ds glad, mad, or sad. Do you like being glad, mad, sad or feeling bad about yourself? IF you don't like feeling bad about yourself, then what can you do? How can you be happy? What can you do? Sit there and wallow or do something?

Try using a scale. Is this a 1 incident and doesn't need a 5/10 response? Talk about how a 4 incident may make someone feel angry, frustrated, etc. but there are options to avert a 10 response! Try to point out when ds is overreacting. Ask if it's increasing his anxiety or decreasing it/helping the situation or making it worse. You can use thumbs here to gesture up/down.

With social interactions. I've been pointing out that if ds acts like a 'little' boy then a friend who is 10 yrs old and more of 'big' boy may not want to play or be friends with him. With other kids who are acting immature and ds8 has a wobble, I ask him what he didn't like, how it made him feel, and how the other child may be acting like a 'little' kid.

So in other words, I try to help ds understand that he's in control of his behavior and how he reacts to situations. I've been using the Anxiety & Phobia Workbook by Edmund Bourne.