Try not to worry ahead of time - it may be a positive sign that the school has called a team meeting to address the issues of academic challenge as well as social development. Go in with an open mind, listen, and remember that you don't have to respond to everything (or anything) at that one meeting - keeping this in mind helped me a lot when advocating for my ds.
Being matter-of-fact is a good target, but sometimes tough to do. Can you take someone else with you who is less likely to react emotionally? It's always helped me to take my dh to IEP meetings because he is calm and rational through everything (sometimes he's also probably half asleep because he's so mellow).. but having that trusted calm person with me helps me regulate my own emotions a bit. I also plan and practice an "out" statement for me if I feel the emotions creep up to where it's going to be hard to speak without my voice cracking or me showing too much frustration - just something simple and matter-of-fact to put a halt to whatever is being discussed at the time and either move on to the next item on the agenda or postpone the meeting until a later date if necessary. Not sure if I've explained this well - and honestly, just having the statement/plan in mind has been all I've needed to help me stay non-emotional (outwardly) - I've never had to actually use my statement
Good luck with your meeting - let us know how it goes!
Best wishes,
polarbear
eta to change "ds" to "dh". I didn't take ds to IEP meetings when he was in elementary school... and he would not have been either mellow, non-emotional, or asleep. I am thinking my ds would have been completely freaked out and petrified by some of the things that were said in those meetings! Sorry about the typo
