Master of None - thank you so much for the excellent advice. I will look more closely at our public schools, and other options in our area. I seem to remember,though, when we first moved here that the public schools didn't generally let kids skip grades. They have a gifted program, but it is pretty minimal - weekly pull-out class that starts in 3rd grade.
The bottom line, is that kids every day go to schools of various fit. It's not a life or death deal. Kids adapt, schools adapt, we all learn to slog through life. If you are in touch with your kids, you'll do OK by them.
This made my shoulders drop with relief. I probably am worrying too much about this. I want the best fit possible, but there won't be any school that is a "perfect fit".
My daughter already shows signs of trying to fit in and not let her abilities shine. This school she is at has been just tremendous in working with her. They are encouraging her to read aloud (and proud) to her peers and she has made big strides in her confidence.
I've only recently, as in the past few months, realized that I never once told my kids that they are smart.
This is how I was raised (also a 99+ percentile kid)... my parents had the best of intentions, but I didn't want to make that same mistake.
So I've started telling my kids - when natural in conversation - that they are smart and that is a special gift (in the context that everyone has different gifts and strengths) and something to be embraced and celebrated (but not bragged about). It has only come up a couple of times in the past few months, but I can tell my daughter's ears perk up when I am saying it. It's hard for me to get this balance just right since a very different approach was taken in my own childhood - but in just a few months I can already see a change, especially in my daughter, in her being more confident and assertive.
