Our DD (11) recently confirmed how much to push her. She told me "these are my goals, I need you to help me meet them... push me when I'm distracted and lazy." And I think that's a very good plan. Now when I push I can say "remember, you told me to" -- and she knows that's true.
DD is happiest when she has something to learn, when her brain is busy. And she likes being taught as opposed to teaching herself. When she doesn't have that she's miserable and a misery to deal with (to be honest). So we need to provide that. However, along with those opportunities to keep that brain busy comes a certain amount of responsibility and, yes, work. So we push her to stick with it and do the work and handle the responsibility because it comes from a place of making her happy.
