I just finished reading my gifted education book round-up. I read 5 Levels of Gifted, Genius Denied, Hothouse Kids, and to round it off Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother. My impression after the first two (besides a confirmation that my child is gifted) was, "okay, we need to challenge him, work him at whatever level he can go to, give him whatever educational resources we can." Then I read Hothouse Kids, and I felt that maybe a better approach was to back off. Expect little. I didn't want to be one of "those moms". And I don't want a miserable adult who laments his childhood. Then I read Tiger Mother, and all I could think of, is - that Lulu is like my stubborn kid...it can't turn out well to push like that. Besides the fact that I am totally laid back, and couldn't force myself to yell like that, I could never live in such an intense household. But the last two books did change my thinking; they made me think that intelligence is more nurture than nature. Otherwise the Chinese wouldn't have such a high success rate. Otherwise movies like Stand and Deliver wouldn't be so powerful.
Overall I am left conflicted. Each individual child has his own tolerance for how much can be heaped upon him. So it is a very individual approach we need. Each child needs challenge proportionate to his abilities, but also in scale to his stamina.
How to find that perfect balance that allows maximum achievement and lifelong content and happiness, is, I suppose, every parents' worry and wish, gifted or otherwise. Raising any child is overwhelming--a huge responsibility.
How do YOU find this perfect balance?
