When you find the answer please do post it - LOL
We had the first teacher conference since DD skipped from 2nd to 4th yesterday and this came up for us as well. No tears but it certainly isn't helping DD 'win friends and influence people'. Academics were all A+ but the social aspects are still in need of refinement we found in that regard at least.
We had a chat with DD about trying to put a filter in between the 'thought' and the 'deed' but I don't expect this to be something that she will be able to change overnight. Learning how to work politely with the less able is a 'Life Skill' that she will have to learn and better now than later so DW and I are trying to get this ingrained now, too.
