Thank you for writing this thread, blackcat. I have the same questions now that my son has been diagnosed with ADHD.
Do you mind me asking what grade your DD is in? My son is in 1st grade and thus far school has not been a problem at all. I did just check his backpack and saw he didn't bring home his reading homework. It's an easy ziplock bag full of books to bring home--easy. He has now probably forgotten it about 8 times and it's October. SIGH. So while he might not be showing signs in class his impairments are starting to in a sense affect school.
Do I go for the 504 in 1st grade? What grade did you notice the typical characteristics of ADHD come out in your DD at school?
I'm getting a bit sad reading what all you've been through with last year's teacher, etc. We are are children's best and only advocates! I just don't understand why anyone would ever hinder helping a child perform to their utmost potential.
